UPDATED BLOG POST! ARCHIVE (2018): Rainy Day Maze

I don’t write poetry very often. It is not published, and though I may not be an English major, I try my best. Here goes nothing:

Rainy Day Maze

I wake up almost every morning, 30 minutes earlier than anticipated.

30 minutes is how long it takes for my body just to get out of bed.

People assume I am lazy, pathetic, weak, and not capable.

What is invisible is not invisible, but physical disability at its rawness.

Dyspraxia and planning take time and mental effort that can drain me.

Next, comes the part where I am supposed to be grateful I am “not disabled”

But, without this, were it possible that I would ever be the same?

Or am I supposed to just appeal to consistent conformity and calamity?

According to a set norm, I am person born a mistake, walking and talking

as if I am a robot, all made up of cogs and broken parts?

Am I expected to forget who I am? This system of broken

parts causes me to burnout, to suffer… to endure the

burden of neurotypical hindrance.

The set behavior of what is acceptable and what is not causes

chaos and inner turmoil.

My sensitive emotions take over my brain,

causing me to not be able to

think…

and yet all I do is scream, externally and internally

in a world where selfishness does not allow for

changed, repetitive behavior.

Communication at a stopping point;

a brick wall in the way of a leading pathway to

understanding,

a headache of emotional turmoil and flashbacks,

associated with the intense demand for less panic,

less alone time.

All I see is the hatred disputed between the oppressed and the oppressor,

and yet the oppressor is missing…

not realizing the impact of decisions

and choices we each make as individuals.

Less love, less compassion…

increased tears and frustration in a country that spews

fear into women, children, minorites.

Will this maze end?

Will it be reborn?

Where is the answer in the midst of dreary life choices and somber moments…

Even there is the need for clearer skies.

I suppose, at the end of the day, this is the silver lining of life.

-Lindsay M